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Bacon toothpaste, beer lip balm—we couldn’t believe some of the products meant to spruce up a smile. We enlisted Cort Day and Kate Egan, the husband-and-wife owners of the Rittenhouse jewelry boutique Egan Day, to try them out and test their kissability. Spoiler alert: Bacon breath is not an aphrodisiac.
Archie McPhee, $4.50, mcphee.com
She said: “This is so wrong. It’d be better than beef jerky as an appetite suppressant.”
He said: “Wow, weird. It’s like kissing a plate of bacon.”
Verdict: For those who want to live with their moms—forever.
Beer-Flavored Old Chub Stick Lip Balm
William’s Brewing, $2.90, williamsbrewing.com
He said: “There’s beer in this? Can’t taste it.”
She said: “Your lips are glowing! Just stunning.”
Verdict: No beer buzz, but high marks for aesthetics.
with Fennel, Propolis & Myrrh Trader Joe’s, $2.29
He said: “Refreshing and pleasant. I really like it.”
She said: “This is a good first-date toothpaste—subtle, different, slightly unusual. The ultra-cool hipster of toothpastes.”
Verdict: A surprising keeper.
Cinnamon Clove Healthy Mouth Mouthwash
Jason, $9.99, Whole Foods
She said: “I wanted to like this, but it’s too strong. Two hours from now, when it wears off, my breath will be perfect.”
He said: “Bitter. And there’s some sort of industrial-cleaner taste at the end.”
Verdict: Repellent. Our testers kept their distance—from each other.