Robin loves summer—too bad the season of bikinis and barbecues doesn't always love her back.
Summertime … and the livin’ is easy …
Summer summer summer time … time to sit back and unwind
Summer lovin’, had me a blast
(Those of you who know me realize that I just played “Sing Down” against myself (category: songs about summer), which is not totally unheard of. Those who don’t can just continue to think I’m insane, which isn’t totally unheard of either.)
Ahhhh … Summer. With Memorial Day Weekend just around the corner, everyone’s favorite season is almost upon us. To me, summer has always meant a whole host of good things:
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Robin's made a lot of progress in her weight-loss journey. But to get her through the home stretch, she's throwing out everything she knows and trying something new.
Apologies for abandoning you all last week, folks. I decided to take a much-needed week off from blogging to recharge the old batteries.
I’m totally lying.
I honestly didn’t know what to write about last week. I felt like I had spent all this time getting hyped for my cleanse and my run, and when they were over I felt … lost? Uninspired? Bored? Something. I was also pissy because I was still bouncing around in that 122-pound range and couldn’t break through it. I was all “but I’m exercising and eating healthy. Why is the weight not coming off??” Then it dawned on me …
I have SO not been eating healthy. While, yes, I have been attending Weight Watchers meetings since December, I have not been following the program at all. I can’t remember the last time I actually wrote down everything I ate in a day, which is one of the tenets of the program. It was like I was paying $14/week to clap for the people who actually were following the program. (Not to mention rolling in there with my two-year-old who did things like launch his Buzz Lightyear into a potted plant atop a very tall filing cabinet and then freak out about it. That was horrifying.) No, throwing money down the toilet, and small action figures into foliage, was not going to help me get to my goal weight.
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Robin's had a busy week, ya'll. But guess what? She ran her first 5K!
(Quick disclaimer: This is going to be a long post, folks. Go put on some comfy pants and grab yourself a snack or something.)
The last week and a half of my life has been a whirlwind.
Let’s start off with the fact that I borrowed a glue gun from a friend and proceeded to fashion a matzoh house with my daughter. Those of you who know me well will realize that this is completely out of character, as I am the anti-crafty mom. I had visions of this being not only a wonderful mother-daughter bonding activity, but also an architectural endeavor to rival the likes of the most kick-ass gingerbread house. It turned out to be something that my daughter was mildly interested in for five minutes, a sure-fire way to sear all the skin off of my fingertips, and the ugliest G-D thing you’ve ever seen. How could I expect a Kosher-for-Passover house adorned with faux soup nuts, dried fruit and fake marshmallows to be as wonderful as something made of magical sugary goodness? One more con on the list for Passover.
That story was not in any way about weight loss; I just wanted to share. Moving on …
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Down another pound, Robin's giving herself a much deserved pat on the back. She recounts her top accomplishments in her weight-loss journey so far.
 I just took a little looksee back over my articles from the past 18 weeks. As the queen of self-deprecating humor, it comes as no surprise that I’ve been focusing mostly on the negative side of my journey: why losing weight has been so hard, the pitfalls, the roadblocks, etc. Because, let’s be honest, how fun or funny is it to focus on the positive? Does anyone really want to read 700 words where I toot my own horn and declare my weight loss awesomeness? I am me and I wouldn’t want to read that!
But, alas …
You’ve all been so super-supportive throughout my journey and, if you will be so kind as to indulge me this week, I’d like to give myself a little pat on the back. I’m getting closer to my goal and am hoping that a little bit of positive thinking might be just the thing I need to wrap this thing up.
So, without further ado, my Top 5 “Holy Sh*t, I Did That?” moments along my journey:
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Robin laments her weeklong carb fast, and Dishes with the Yenta for good measure.
Admittedly, Passover is my least favorite of the Jewish holidays.
(Quick parenthetical to appease my family and others who are horrified by the above statement: I am SO kidding. I heart all of the Jewish holidays, especially Passover. I love spending time with you at the Seder and eating all of that matzoh that does such amazing things to our digestive systems. I merely need fodder for this week’s column. Up top for my boy Elijah!)
Robin’s Weight Tracker
Starting: 130.4 pounds
Current: 122 pounds
Last week: 122 pounds
Goal: 118 pounds
I’ve always said that I would take 10 Yom Kippurs to one Passover because, apparently, I would rather atone for all of my sins and starve than break up with my precious carbs for a week. I distinctly remember one time in high school asking my non-Jewish friends to come pick me up and to bring whatever carbs they could get their hands on. It was like a Passover prison break. They screeched up to the curb with the huge jug of Utz Pretzels (the one that remained cool inside no matter how hot it was outside; mind-boggling) and we were out of there before my parents were any the wiser. It was genius … and completely ridiculous. Is it really that difficult to go without carbs for one week?
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Now four months in to her weight loss experiment, Robin is taking stock of what she's accomplished so far—and how many pounds she still has to go. Is it time to adjust her goals?
 Be honest with me, guys: On a scale of one to 10—10 being “so sick of you, I would punch you in the face if ever I met you in person”—how sick of me are you? For 16 weeks, I have been taking up space in the blogosphere. Wasting five, maybe ten, minutes of your precious time each Thursday. Trying, and sometimes succeeding, to find the humor in this whole weight-loss thing while reporting on recipes, classes and products that I’ve tried along the way. Smiling politely when, at one function or another where eating was involved (read: all functions I attend), someone looked at what I was eating and said “I’m sure THAT’S going to be in this week’s blog, right?” I even posted a fat picture of myself. Who does that?
All of this and I have lost … eight pounds.
Things you are currently thinking about posting/emailing to me after reading this (I know because I’ve said all of these things to friends trying to lose weight at one point or another; it’s what we do):
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Robin's looking for a running buddy for her upcoming 5K. Take her quiz below and see if you're fit for the job.
 Amateur runner ISO friends to run in upcoming Gift of Life Dash for Organ and Tissue Donor Awareness 5K on April 15th. To apply for one of many coveted positions on team “Are You Kidney-ing Me,” please fill out the survey below.
1. To train for the upcoming 5K, I have been:
a. Running 10 miles 3x/week, because that’s my normal routine. I’ll bring my D game that day because I feel bad for you.
b. Sitting on the couch, eating Fritos, watching The Biggest Loser. Because if they can run a marathon I can absolutely do a 5K. Fatties.
c. Rocking through each day of the Couch to 5K program.
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How does Robin deal with stress? Let's just say the refrigerator gets a neat little workout.
 I’ve never been very good at identifying and managing my own stress. This was first pointed out to me when I was 25 and in the hospital for a flare-up of my super-attractive stomach disease, ulcerative colitis. When trying to figure out what may have triggered the flare, the doctor asked me if I had recently been under any stress. Stress? Me? Absolutely not. What do 25-year-olds have to stress about? After digging not-a-whole-lot deeper, it turned out that I had recently moved, broken up with someone, and taken on new responsibilities at work under a boss who I had nightmares about. All right there, Dr. Freud, I see where you’re going with this. You’re saying that I’m not very self-aware, that I turn my feelings and stress inward and then slowly melt down from the inside until I land myself in the hospital? Whatever. Get out of my room before I have to stand up very unsteadily, hold the back of my gown together so you don’t see my ass, and whack you with my IV poll. I can be very intimidating when I’ve lost eight pounds and haven’t showered in two weeks.
Fast-forward 10 years and here I am at another stressful time in my life. The sources of my stress are unimportant for our purposes here, but at least I am able to identify them. Score one for therapy … and for being able to identify that which is blatantly obvious. So now that I’ve gotten my self-awareness badge neatly sewn on to my sash, it’s time to consider my stress management options:
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From Pixy Stix to Bacon Double Cheeseburgers, Robin recounts her top five food breakups of all time. (And yes, it's as hilarious as it sounds.)
 To say that I am humbled would be an understatement. The outpouring of love in light of my recent Reese’s breakup has been astounding. I’ve received calls. Texts. Blue Mountain Arts cards. Casseroles (low-fat, natch). An older woman at the gym even slapped me on the ass and told me to “get back out there kid.” That was uncomfortable.
So … after spending the week in bed with the shades drawn, flipping between The Notebook and anything with the word “Twilight” in the title, I have decided to shake off my funk and move on with my life. Yes, the pain of this most recent food breakup still cuts me to my core, but it’s not the first and surely will not be the last of its kind.
Because I like sympathy, casseroles and High Fidelity, I now offer you (in chronological order) a list of my all-time top five food breakups:
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Robin's trying to break her addiction to Easter candy before the holiday hits. But can she lay off the Reese's?
With Valentine’s Day behind us, gone from the store shelves are the candy hearts, boxes of chalky, generic chocolates, and all the other love-themed, bad-for-you foods that signal the arrival of the Hallmark holiday. You breathe a sigh of relief that you were able to make it through February without indulging—or at least, indulging as much as you would have in years past.
Flipping through your calendar, March seems like somewhat smooth sailing, as long as you can stick to one Irish potato and one pint of Guinness (I am totally food-stereotyping here. I celebrated St. Patty’s Day once in my entire life in Hoboken, New Jersey. And, as I recall, it wasn’t even on St. Patty’s Day. What is that about? I’m fairly certain I marked the occasion with, like, a pinot grigio or something equally ridiculous. I hate beer and wouldn’t know a Guinness from a cider from an O’Douls. Moving on …). You stop at March 31st (to wish my mom a happy birthday), realizing that with the flip of this page you will come face-to-face with your biggest food-related challenge since the whole Thanksgiving/Hanukkah/Christmas/New Years debacle …
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