PHILLY
EVENTS
One of Kristy's favorite pictures of Eric, and his mother Marcia.
Have you noticed that Philly is looking a little more feminine these days? Burst of hot pink decorate the Eagle’s uniforms, highlight the skyline, and run up and down the Cira Center. In case you’re not aware of the ‘Think Pink’ movement, it’s October—which means it’s breast cancer awareness month.
I truly appreciate the cities, NFL, different foundations, and individuals who are making breast cancer awareness more prevalent in everyone’s daily lives because, it could help save a friend, mom, sister, or father one day. This month hits home for Eric and I because four years ago around this time, we found out his mom, Marcia, had been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Thanks to early detection, she was able to start chemotherapy early, even though the cancer was looking pretty serious. She was a trooper through the process of chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, and news that things weren’t going exactly as planned. After months of fear, Momma Doc was in the clear, and life went back to normal for this inspiring fighter of a woman. She started talking to other woman going through the same process—helping them, guiding them, and supporting them. The entire process gave me a new perspective on life; that there’s no reason to dwell on things when life can be so short and delicate.
We had been given another year and a half of healthy, bubbly, lively Marcia when she slowly became ill again. After multiple tests and procedures, we were informed that the cancer had returned with a vengeance. This time, it moved to her esophagus and greatly affected her love for singing, socializing, and physically weakened her. And eventually, it took her from us last September.
Eric and I think of her constantly, but especially when there’s something going on that would have put her in her ideal environment: She was a social butterfly; she would remember your favorite dessert, color, month, and all the things that would bring a smile to your face. She would have loved to be at our wedding. But since she physically will not be there, we want to include something so that everyone there thinks of her and remembers her that day.
I’ve seen this approached different ways—sometimes it’s an empty seat with a flower on it, reminding guests of that person’s presence. Sometimes it’s a picture on a table near the guest book, trying to balance remembrance with not dwelling on their absence. Our wedding day will be a happy day, no doubt about it, and sometimes tears can be because of joy and happiness. So, I’m all right with letting some go that day, whether it’s out of joy, or maybe a little sadness because I’m missing my mother-in-law.
How are you planning to honor a loved one the day of your wedding? Or how did you do that?
I did a few things to remember my mom at my wedding. I had a ring bearer pillow made from the lace of her wedding dress, I used her favorite candy as favors for our guests, and I had my brother walk down the aisle with a bouquet of flowers in memory of her which he put on the first chair in the first row to save a seat for her. We also put out family wedding pictures during cocktail hour and of course she was included in that. Best of luck!
Thank you for these suggestions, what you did sounds so special. I will definitely use them!
I agree with the kinds of ideas Ashley suggested…things that are personal, some that may even be private, like the favors of her mom’s favorite candies. There doesn’t necessarily need to be a big deal made about anything like that but you, your groom and others that were close to her will know. My aunt Dorothy recently passed away and she was a FANTASTIC baker. She even made her own wedding cake and always told me she’d be honored to make mine someday. Since that’s now not possible, we’re planning on having a dessert table with some of her most famous cookie recipes instead, with a picture of her on that table. It’s important, I think, to find a balance between rememberance and turnign your wedding into a memorial service. Best of luck with everything!!
Thank you! These are wonderful ideas, especially because Eric’s mother was a fabulous cook! She made the best desserts, hands down. I completely agree with your comment on a balance between remembrance and a memorial service because she would want they day to be about the celebration of our marriage and life together. This is just great…
These are great ideas and great ways to celebrate someone’s life and talents.
I’ve been to weddings where there was a toast to a special someone who could not be there in person, and I really liked that as it seemed more celebratory than somber. Additionally, you could also honor her by making a donation to breast cancer research in lieu of tradtional wedding favors. Its a nice way to recognize her, and your guests dont really need a favor they wont use, but will love that the money was put towards something meaningful.
What sweet words about a wonderful woman! Missing her today on her birthday. I’m sure whatever you and Eric decide to do will be perfect, but of course I love the dessert table idea because Marcia made the BEST sweets!!! I’ve got plenty of cookbooks left filled with some of her best recipes
and if you need any help with baking let me know! I’ve made a number of her recipes over this last year. Miss you guys, let us know when you’ll be around!
I love the idea of a tribute at the wedding and think this blog, along with the wonderful stories you have shared about Marcia, make for a lovely start.