Bride-to-be Blogger Stephanie: All About the Details

A hint at some of the details from Pat and Stephanie's wedding.

Twenty one days and counting! It’s a mad dash to the finish line. You’d think we’ve been procrastinating—that we lazily and indifferently left scores of details for the end. But we’ve been steadily and beyond meticulously going over every element of the wedding for nearly a year and a half now. How do we have this much left to do?

Granted, the big things are taken care of. Dress, band, venue, food, bridesmaids, groomsmen—we’re good to go in those departments. What’s left: Should the flower girls where bracelets? Is the guest book ordered? Will the bridal party be standing or sitting during the ceremony? In what order will they process into the church? What is our signature drink? When should our photographer arrive? What kind of unity candle do we want? How do we want the menu card formatted?

The last two weeks have also been pretty extensively devoted to welcome bags—brainstorming what we wanted in them, pricing out each item, searching for the best deals, narrowing down our options, making final decisions, and then actually ordering. We decided to go in the direction of awesome snacks (sweet and salty) and some more practical items for a long night of celebrating: water, Advil, mints. Via Pinterest, I got the idea for a bicycle-themed bag (bikes are a big part of both of our lives). They’ve been ordered, and I can’t wait to see what they look like when they come in! In making them a tad more generic, without Pat and Stephanie printed in enormous script across the front, my hope is that guests will want to use them again!

Amidst the never-ending list, I’ve also been working on a whole lot of writing: writing thank-you notes for our showers (so outrageously behind on that task), writing a thank-you speech of sorts for during the wedding, writing the copy for the program, writing different sections of the ceremony, writing my vows. These present the most difficult challenges by far, in that they require a tremendous amount of time and thought. I want to be able to articulate my extreme gratitude and a whole array of other emotions in the best possible way; in way that captures and precisely communicates my feelings. Lots more work to do on that end.

As this planning process has unfolded, I’ve learned so much about myself. When it’s over, I’m looking forward to be able to reflect on it all. But two of the little things that I’ve learned—and that I knew to some degree already—are that I am exceptionally detail-oriented, and a perfectionist, possibly to a fault.

Many people have told me to not worry about the little things. I think my wedding planner and mom have wished they could just make the decisions on the smaller items without consulting me. It’s just sort of in my nature to want to think every facet through and make sure it executed in the best way. And I have to consider all the options. I don’t really make impulsive decisions. I like to contemplate the possibilities, so I know in the end, that I’ve definitely chosen the best one.

The other factor is that I really want the wedding to be a reflection of me and Pat. I want each detail to speak about us. And I feel like it will be—and has been, in the past—so much more rewarding knowing you were integral in shaping the final product. I know I’m going to be supremely elated the day of the wedding, no matter. And my focus will be on Pat! But when I catch a glimpse of the petals along the aisle, the tablecloths draped across the tables on the terrace, the guest book photo mat, the centerpieces—I’ll marvel at how stunning it all looks and know that I was a part of it.

The whole point of this self-reflection being that it’s the little details that are left, but it’s the little things that I can’t help but ingratiate myself in. I almost wish I could pull myself away from them. It would certainly reduce the stress—perhaps in half. But I think it’s all going to pay off. I’m hoping it’s the little things that turn out to be some of the most memorable of the day.

How have you decided what to be heavily involved in and what tasks to leave to someone else when it comes to putting your wedding day together?

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