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Q: I recently heard a friend griping about expensive items on another friend’s registry, and I thought, I have nice, pricey pots and pans and things on my registry—are people saying that about mine? I intend for these things to last decades, but was I not supposed to register for anything expensive because it’s rude to guests?

A: While it’s certainly a thoughtful gesture to take your guests’ finances into account when registering for gifts, Rita Brouwer-Ancher, general manager of Glenside’s Eventricity, reminds us: The definition of ‘expensive’ is different for each wedding guest, as we all have different budgets.” A set of copper cookware that might be outside a co-worker’s price range could seem just right to your wealthy Great-Aunt Ida.

That said, “The sensitive bridal couple will register for items in a range of prices. It allows guests to honor the bride and groom in a way that is a win/win for the couple and the guest.” Just make sure you leave a few big-ticket items on the list for Great-Aunt Ida.

This article originally appeared in the Spring/Summer 2012 issue of Philadelphia Wedding.

Kathleen's wedding shoes! Photo, toms.com.

Shoes. I’ve been focusing a little too much about shoes these days.

Mainly, I’m trying to figure out what all of the bridesmaids should wear on their feet—for both the ceremony and the reception. I’m not going to force them to all buy the same shoes, but since the ceremony will take place on grass, I have made the recommendation that they all wear either flats or wedges.

But because I’m thinking that the odds of them all picking out shoes that will coordinate with each other are very slim, I’ve been thinking of purchasing each of them a pair of TOMS as a gift. (I am totally going to be rocking a pair of TOMS at the reception, so I thought it might be cute if each bridesmaid had a pair, too.)

I love the idea of the girls wearing them at the reception, for sure—I’m just not sure if those shoes would look right with their dresses for the ceremony portion of the day. I’m not much of a flip-flop fan at weddings—I feel like it’s been overdone, even though flippy-floppies would definitely be an inexpensive option—and I’m really digging the TOMS look. Not only would it be unique, but for every pair of TOMS you purchase, they will donate a pair of shoes to a child in need. And I think that is pretty awesome! Plus, if we were all wearing them, I’m thinking that would make for some pretty sweet photo ops.

I think I am just going to have to drag one of them to the store with their dress in tow and have them try on the shoes with the dress. Fingers crossed it looks cute … Otherwise, sorry, ladies, but you might have some challenges ahead of you for ceremony shoes!

Anyone out there done the TOMS thing for their wedding, or been to one where the bride and/or the ‘maids were wearing them? What do you guys think—cute for just the reception, or for the entire day?

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It is said that people somehow usually end up looking like their pets. I wonder how this happens. Is it a quick process—like that Snoop Dogg video where he morphs into a Doberman Pinscher in a matter of seconds—or is it gradual? And if it happens with our pets, what about with our spouses? They say opposites attract, but after that initial attraction, will we start to look like each other, to act like each other?

Are we all destined to turn into the person we married?

“Definitely,” my friend said when I posed this question to her. “I feel like my husband and I have morphed into the same person. When I met B., he basically lived in squalor. I, on the other hand, was a neat freak. Over time—actually, it seemed to happen all of a sudden”—aha! Snoop Dogg morphing!—“he has turned into this super-clean, no-food-allowed-upstairs, crumb-catching head of the household.”

Another friend has noticed it, too: “I say things that [my husband] says all the time. I suddenly like things I never used to, like hockey. But the thing I notice the most is my speech pattern. [My husband] has certain inflections that I’ve picked up on, and he definitely does and says things that I do, too. ”

“We both got fatter,” said someone else.

I wonder how far J. and I have morphed. We don’t look alike—at least, not yet (though, according to this article, it may only be a matter of time until our shared life experiences begin to reflect on us psychically)—but we oftentimes act similarly. My mannerisms have slowly started to mirror his, and vice versa, and we’ve subconsciously picked up one another’s gestures and idiosyncrasies. We use our own little brand of slang, too, and we’ve got an arsenal of inside jokes and catchphrases that we now use in our daily interactions.

“Woof,” another friend said as we walked to lunch yesterday. “That’s what my boyfriend and I say when something just doesn’t go right, or when you get news you don’t want to hear.” And if things are really grim?

“We say ‘woof.com,’” she said matter-of-factly, as if this was the most natural phrase in the world to utter.

I suppose all couples have some sort of weird little secret language. My grandparents have the same sort of accent. It’s not quite southern, but there is a distinct drawl. The word ‘mirror’ is drawn out until it’s nearly unrecognizable—’merh-raah.’ It’s not a Florida accent, either, though I’m not even sure what that sounds like. It’s their accent.

I wonder when they started to sound the same.

My grandparents also look, if not completely alike, at least like they belong together. It makes sense, like a matching pair of cards in a game of Memory. Was it always like this? Maybe J. and I will be like that someday, speaking in our own little language with matching inflection and an odd little accent, drawing out the word ‘mirror’ until it barely exists, walking slowly down the streets of Florida, stooped over with age, waving to our fellow retirees in unison.

Perhaps by this point, we’ll have started to pick up sartorial cues from one another, too. I’ll wear snazzy white sneakers and a t-shirt bearing the logo of our grandchild’s college; J. will wear a vintage Hawaiian shirt, and accessorize it with a straw hat, a chunky watch, sunglasses and an ascot. We’ll meet our friends for whatever leisure activities we do in Florida (bridge? Golf?), and as we’re walking, they’ll glance at J.’s bizarre overaccessorizing and my ugly t-shirt. Then they’ll turn to each other when we’re not looking, and mouth the words that I’ve long forgotten the meaning of:

“Woof.com.”

In what ways have you noticed yourself and your significant other turning into each other? Your mannerisms, speech? Does one of you rub off more on the other? Share your experiences in the comments!

Amethyst cubic zirconia bracelet with gold pave crystal sphere, $165 from Mina Danielle. All photos in this post courtesy of AMC Photography.

From the instant you scream, “Yes!” until the moment you whisper, “I do,” so much of preparing to tie the knot is all about making your Big Day as beautiful as it can be. And, as we all know, the most important part of all that is you!

We know that after you find the Dress, you’ll be meticulously selecting every last detail of your look, from the shoes to the veil, from the hair to the makeup, from the finishing touches to what you’re wearing underneath. And when it comes to bling? We also know that’s not going to end with the giant sparkler you’ve got on your left hand.

That’s why we had to tell you about Penn Valley designer Marissa Small and her blossoming jewelry line, Mina Danielle. After graduating from college, she spent years dabbling in teaching and real estate before finally deciding to pursue her true passion—which meant turning her hobby of collecting stones and stringing beautiful beads into her career. She started designing jewelry full time, and today, not only has dedicated customers throughout the Philadelphia area, but far-flung ones, too (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards is a fan, and can often be spotted wearing a thick stack of Mina Danielle bracelets on the show).

Small designs all kinds of pieces, but we can’t get enough of her bracelets, which she makes by hand, drilling holes in the semi-precious stones (rubies, sapphires, amethyst, citrine, turquoise and more that she sources from as close as Philadelphia bead stores to as far as India and Istanbul) and lacing them, along with various accents (we love the pave crystal spheres), into styles that are impossible to choose between.

For brides, Small recommends styles from her South Sea and Tahitian Pearl collections that will look elegant and classy on your wedding day—but that can be dressed down and worn afterwards for years. Or, she’s got no shortage of bright colors, whether you’re looking to add a pop to your bridal-white ensemble, or want to gift your ‘maids with a style of their own. (We love the idea of giving them colors that contrast their dress: Coral beads with navy dresses, or amethyst pieces to offset sage green.)

There’s no extra charge for custom design, and Small loves seeing brides’ ideas and collaborating with them on designs. Plus, she only needs about three weeks to present you with a piece that’s your very own. Prices for bracelets start around $95; look for Mina Danielle jewelry in Center City boutiques this spring, or shop now online.  Check out the pictures below for a small (seriously!) sampling of our faves.   — Alexandra Leshner

Coral bracelet with gold pave crystal, $165.

Tahitian pearl and diamond nugget bracelet, $2,640.

Tibetan cobalt blue faceted mix bracelet, $187.

Macrame moonstone bracelet with gold pave crystal, $265.

White freshwater pearls on a black leather cord, $350.

Coral bracelet with peach pearls and pave crystal spheres, $165.

Sapphire bracelet with diamond disc, $1,500.

Bone bracelet with gold pave crystal, $165.

Ruby and black onyx "love" bracelets, $125 each.

Hot pink agate bracelet with gold pave crystal, $165.

Mini bone beaded bracelet with diamond bar, $1,210.

Ruby beaded bracelet with pave diamond sphere, $1,320.

South Sea and Tahitian pearl bracelet, $750.

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(Or is it pin? So confusing: Facebook is both the thing and the verb; Twitter is the thing, Tweet is the verb; Pinterest is the thing, pin is the verb?)

Anyway.

It was with great joy today that we read our colleague’s piece over on The Philly Post, which was, of all things, about dudes on Pinterest! The writer, Brian Howard, became curious about Pinterest mostly because it was a new social networking site he kept hearing about, though he had no idea what it was. He investigated, joined, fiddled around, and found a few things out—namely:

1) It’s a pretty cool, pleasingly visual way of organizing various things you like.

2) Because it’s mostly chicks on there, he now finds himself with a lot of chicks “following” him, much to the interest of his girlfriend, who is also on there.

Really, though, he makes some great points about how guys can totally use and enjoy Pinterest, whether it’s pinning sports stuff or music stuff or travel stuff or food stuff (hmm: fodder for the groom’s cake, wedding-day menu, reception playlist and honeymoon planning?)—or looking at what others are pinning and even discovering new things they’re into that way.

Just keep an eye out for how many chicks follow him if he gets any good at it.

Lina by Monique Lhuillier; photo courtesy of the designer.

The Wedding Shoppe, Wayne

Feb 9-12: Peter Langner Truck Show

You’ll receive 10 percent savings if you order any of the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Feb 16-19: Monique Lhuillier Trunk Show

You’ll receive 10 percent savings if you order any of the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

The Wedding Pavilion at Van Cleve, Paoli

Feb 9-11: San Patrick Bridal Trunk Show

You’ll receive 10 percent savings if you order any of the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Feb 16-18: Sara Gabriel and Toni Federichi Accessories Trunk Show

You’ll receive special incentives to order the featured designer’s accessories during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Feb 16-25: Badgley Mischka Bridal Trunk Show

You’ll receive 10 percent savings if you order any of the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Bridals by Danielle, Philadelphia

Feb 10-12: Alvina Valenta Trunk Show

You’ll receive special incentives to order the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Feb 17-19: Tara Keely Trunk Show

You’ll receive special incentives to order the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Jennifer’s Bridal, Hockessin

Feb 10-11: Alvina Valenta Trunk Show

You’ll receive special incentives to order the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Feb 17-18: Haute Bride Trunk Show

You’ll receive special incentives to order the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; call to make an appointment.

Nicole Bridal & Formal Shoppe

Feb 10-11: Claire Pettibone Trunk Show

You’ll receive 10 percent savings if you order any of the featured designer’s dresses during the trunk show; appointments preferred.

Bridal Garden, Marlton

Feb 15: Thomas Knoell Designs Trunk Show

Call to make an appointment.

A sample of Kathleen and Christian's invitations!

I guess our wedding is officially official: Invitations have been ordered and I couldn’t be more excited!

I can’t wait to see what the whole suite looks like. I ordered a sample set a few months ago (that’s it, pictured), but it didn’t come with the envelopes and address labels, so I can’t wait to see everything all together! The best part about our invitations? All under $200, and we didn’t even have to print them ourselves. I don’t want to jinx myself, but I am pretty dang excited about how easy this process has been. Thank you, Etsy.

In other news, the anxiousness of when my dress will arrive is starting to take its toll. When I bought the dress back in October, the lady told me the process takes about three months. I think that seems pretty reasonable, since the dress isn’t off the rack—so I had no worries at that point. However, now that we’ve made it slightly past that three-month mark, I’m getting antsy. I’m not ready to start making frantic phone calls, but I need to keep myself calm and assign a deadline of when I can start to ask questions. I obviously don’t want to come off like a crazy person, but I also don’t want to wait too long, only find out the dress was never ordered or something terrifying like that. (Of course my mind goes to the worst case scenario). I am not ready to hit panic mode yet, but hurry up, dress! I need to accessorize you!

Did your invitations make your wedding feel officially official? And I’d love to know what you guys think about my dress arrival: When should I call and start asking questions?

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The day after Kevin and I got engaged, we immediately began searching online for honeymoon destinations: South of France! Monaco! Let’s wait to find out where Will and Kate go and then just do that! But as the wedding got—well, let’s call it “fancier”—the honeymoon started to get “less fancy.” At one point I joked that we would be packing up the reception leftovers and heading down to the Jersey Shore. Oh, and it’d be great if someone could give us a ride, because we don’t have a car.

We promised not to think about the honeymoon again until it was six months before the wedding, so that we could get a good grasp on what was feasible. We eventually came to terms with the fact that we wanted to stay in the time zone, avoid long flights, and avoid a lot of “must see activities” that don’t involve a beach or a good drink. Relaxation and a few good meals were the only requirements.

After monitoring flight prices and digging for hotel deals (some of Kevin’s favorite activities) we booked a trip to Turks and Caicos. We are going to wait to leave until Monday morning after the wedding because it works better with flights (and because “regrouping” and “getting my life back in order” happen to be some of my favorite activities). I know we aren’t going to regret choosing the relaxing honeymoon option.

I am going to resist telling you that we are going to on a big, exotic, faraway, highly planned trip for our first year anniversary. If you haven’t noticed, this is something that engaged couples say, like, all of the time. If it happens, great, but for now, we have more than our fair share of things to look forward to.

How did you plan your honeymoon? What factors did you consider?