When the girls returned to the work room, it was all T, shade and dust. Jinkx’s epic Little Edie had won last week, but from the way the queens fawned over Roxxxy’s Tamar Braxton, you wouldn’t have known. Poor Jinkx. Being forced into her camp corner by the more glamorous queens, the quirky one from Seattle started to vent some frustration that she wasn’t being considered a threat. With genius editing, the Drag Race team made it apparent that she is a queen to be reckoned with, right before cutting to her snoring in the corner.
Mini-Challenge Rucap: For the mini-challenge, the queens had to paint themselves in complete darkness. To much of Ru’s surprise, most of them did a glamorous job. Some, like Coco and Ivy, had some shading difficulties, but the worst by far was Alaska. She purposefully went for the hysterical, painting her mouth off center, channeling a crazed Heath Ledger’s Joker. I cried with laughter at her reveal, but it was Detox’s marvelously made-up mug that took the win. A blackout never looked so good.
Main-Challenge Rucap: Giving us some ’80s do-gooder realness, the queens had to show off their vocal ability in a “We Are the World” inspired anthem entitled “Can I Get An Amen?.” Detox’s win allowed her the opportunity to form the teams. She paired rivals Coco and Alyssa together, and of course ROLASKATOX, as well. That being said, lady-boy buddies Jinkx, Ivy and Jade were clustered together. From the jump, we could tell this batch of beauties was going to be more Sanjaya than JHud. Coco and Alyssa’s past drama only worsened their lack of musical prowess. Detox promised she wasn’t trying to sabotage them but she assigned the dueling queens the first and probably hardest verse of the song. Bitch knew what she was doing. Jade had little to offer her team from the beginning, and Team ROLASKATOX was more ego than anything else. Alaska’s frustrations showed and she worried she may have gotten lost in the mix. Ivy and Jinkx both seemed super comfortable with the live-singing aspect. I was rooting for them to pull through.
For the recording session, the girls wore their ’80s best, with standouts being Detox, Alaska and Ivy. On set, Coco threw some shade at Detox by “thanking her” for verse 1 and team partner Alyssa. While many of the Cyndi wannabes and Madonna look-alikes were pitch poor, they still performed with glamorous gumption. However, Coco and Jade miserably failed to pull it off and landed a place at the bottom. Ivy Winters’ legit harmonizing led her to victory.
Michelle had heavy words for most of ROLASKATOX. She criticized Detox her for falling back on old tricks. She berated Alaska her lack of individuality and chided her for being heartless. While I think this is a bit heavy handed, it did lead to Ru making the classic comparison between Alaska and her boyfriend. This broke down Alaska and showed her vulnerability. I think she needs to make a runaway from Rolaskatox. Like Michelle said, this is a competition. Not RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, and I fear that Detox and Roxxxy will eventually out shine our precious queen from Pittsburgh.
Runway Yes’s: The queens had to show off their best body part. With an ass more plastic than real, Detox’s Jessica Rabbit-channeling lace-up-in-the-back dress showed crack for days. And, honey, crack is back and she looked amazing. Earlier, Detox walked Alaska through her countless plastic-surgery treatments. Two points for honesty, but it seems a bit excessive. Biceps and ab silicon injections? Ever hear of the gym, sweetheart?
Runway Oh-Honey-Nos: Jade’s My Little Pony couture was a catastrophe, verifying her spot in the bottom. Coco’s heart-heavy look flatlined, and Jinkx’s “glam” failed to impress.
Lip-Sync-Off: Being a newbie, Jade held her own against the seasoned Coco. But, nothing can compare to Coco. Her strength is in the lip-sync. Up for elimination now twice, she continues to send girls sashaying away with her skills.
My Top Three: I’m going against the grain and rooting for Alaska, Ivy and Jinkx. I’m sick of bullies Detox and Roxxxy and ROLASKATOX in general. Team Campy all the firstname.lastname@example.org.