Proust’d: Mazeppa Productions’ Brian Seaman

"I have a wicked sense of humor. And sometimes I cross the line into offensive."

Philly attorney and A-gay Brian Seaman may spend his days dishing legal jargon with other lawyer types, but his heart and soul is dedicated to the stage. As managing director of Mazeppa Prodcutions, he has helped bring fab musicals to the city, like last year’s run of Spring Awakening and, starting this July, Avenue Q. This weekend, Seaman and other Mazeppa folks are hosting the third-annual Cocktails & Cabaret fundraiser to generate money for future productions. Like it sounds, the evening will flow with tasty libations and hors d’oeuvres, and be capped off with cabaret-style performances of Broadway hits by a handful of talented Philly songbirds.

This week, I asked him to fill out G Philly’s version of the Proust questionnaire, where he revealed him self to be quite the wit. Keep reading to find out which former SNL star he’d like to have a beer with, who he thinks does the best Carol Channing impersonation and why the wording on his future wedding invitations has his mom in a tizzy.

What is your idea of perfect happiness? 8 a.m. on a summer Saturday morning on Fire Island. What is the trait you most dislike in yourself? My inability to get home any night of the week until it’s dark out. What is the trait you most dislike in others? Arrogance and self-importance. What is your greatest extravagance? Really good theater tickets. Nothing like seeing a show from up close, even if the show is terrible. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Piety. What do you consider the most underrated vice? Gluttony. I don’t trust people who never eat full-fat ice cream or go to a buffet. Which person, living or dead, do you most admire? I don’t know about admire … but I think Tina Fey would be great to grab a beer with. Which words or phrases do you overuse? No doubt, I overuse the word, “buddy.” I call everyone “buddy.” To the point where an ex said to me, “umm, I am not your buddy, I am your boyfriend.” We didn’t last very long. What is the quality you most like in a man? A sense of humor. Nothing makes me happier than when a guy laughs at my jokes. What do you dislike about your appearance? Nothing in particular. I have been living with this body for 35 years, so I am pretty used to it. What do you love about your appearance? My smile. Or my calves. I can thank my father for passing both onto me. Good genes. What or who is the greatest love of your life? Jeff Kummer. I am totally dating up with this one. Plus, it’s meant to be … a guy named Seaman dating a guy named Kummer. My mother is nervous about putting that on an invitation someday. When and where were you happiest? Probably now. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I have a wicked sense of humor. And sometimes I cross the line into offensive. Which talent would you most like to have? Automotive repair. What do you consider to be your greatest achievement? Telling people on a regular basis how much I love them. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? A slightly better version of myself … What is your most treasured possession? My dog.  Though he probably thinks I am his possession. What do you value most in your friends? Loyalty. Who is your favorite drag queen? No doubt about this one … Pandora Boxx.  Her Carol Channing is ridiculous. How would you like to die? On a beach somewhere during a nap.

Tickets for Cocktails & Cabaret are currently sold out. Call Mazeppa Productions at 412-310-1853 with any questions/to see if they can squeeze you in.

Other Proust questionees: