Throughout spring training this year, Phillies centerfielder Shane Victorino has graciously volunteered to provide weekly dispatches about his thoughts on various topics and, most important, keep the fans updated on the Phils’ progress.

Victorino, popular on the field and in the clubhouse for his gregarious nature and hustle, comes into this season as much more than just a novelty role-player nicknamed the “Flying Hawaiian” — this year he becomes a vital component in the team’s quest to get back to the playoffs. This week, Shane attempts to answer our questions even though he’s completely distracted by playing miniature golf with two teammates.

Daily Examiner: Hello … Shane?

Shane Victorino: What up, A.J.? How long are we going to be? 20 minutes? Okay. Good. I just stepped onto the course. We’re playing miniature golf … [Victorino starts talking to others he’s playing with: "Yeah, I’m gonna beat you while doing an interview. That makes it even better ..."]

You’re playing miniature golf right now?

Oh yeah!

Is that all there is to do in Clearwater?

Naahh ….

[20 seconds of silence and static-filled reception]

Uh, are you putting right now?

Nah, go ahead!

Okay, well, how do you think the team …

[Victorino, distracted, talking to somebody else: "Are you kidding me? That was from far away ..."] Yeah, makes it even better. Guy playing with his blog, guy doing an interview while he’s playing golf …

Anyway, do you even know how to play centerfield?

Do I know how to play centerfield? Yeah. Little bit … yeah. ’06 I played it and in the minor leagues. Yeah, I have an idea how to play there.

Do you think it’s going to be tough filling Aaron Rowand’s shoes?

Aw, naw, you know I’m not going to try to fill his shoes … I think that’s one thing I said from the beginning that [background voices: "Go! Go!"] … when Bobby [Abreu] got traded … [interrupts self] Aw! My teammate just hit the ball … aw … Dobbs … I wasn’t trying to fill his shoes either … I just have to go out there and have fun.

Do you think you’ll have to purposely smash your face into the wall during a routine warning track fly ball to gain acceptance?

Naw. I hope that doesn’t happen. I hope I don’t have to kill myself to prove myself. But when he [Rowand] did run his face into the wall, that was definitely a big, big thing in Philadelphia.

So, do you think you’re going to run any stop signs at third base this year?

Aw … I’ll run through. Hopefully I don’t. Hopefully I get the good signs this year. But if I’m coming around third and I can score easy on a guy like [Geoff] Jenkins like I tried last year … [interrupts self: "You cheat! I want my ball moved back ..."]

Who are you playing miniature golf with right now?

[Geoff] Jenkins and [Greg] Dobbs. [Background laughter]

Really? Did you know that Dobbs is ranked number two on the list of guys on the Phillies that white women under 30 want to bang? He’s behind Utley.

[Big loud Hawaiian laughter] Do you want to tell him that statistic? Do you want to tell him that statistic?

No, you can …

[Hawaiian laughter] Okay, okay, okay … the statistic is that you are number two behind Utley in the ratings for girls under 30 who want to … [loud, gasping laughter ... howls ... Dobbs, in background: "Call my wife!"] Oh, he’s gonna be in trouble …

Yeah, well, it’s for real. Girls love Dobbs. Every single girl I’ve talked to about the Phillies … it’s all about Dobbs. He’s second only to [Chase] Utley in many girls’ eyes.

He says you’re right behind Utley.

Right, but Utley’s untouchable …

Well, he’s untouchable too, he’s married … that’s funny.

So, apparently you guys are pretty loose down there?

Yeah, yeah. We’re ready to go, I think the Kendrick thing, the Punk’d thing, was just the start of it. We’re having fun, that’s what we’re all about this year.

Now, you got engaged last year?

Yeah, yeah. That’s all good.

So, do you think if your wife ever had an opportunity to pose for a swimsuit issue she would get injected with HGH?

Aw, that’s classic. I don’t know what to say to that whole situation except that I think it’s become uncomfortable for everyone, especially for Roger [Clemens]. I think I was like everyone else … let’s just focus on him — I don’t see why you have to bring everybody else into it. I think that’s what’s frustrating.

Is it something that you guys [Phillies] actually talk about?

Naw, not really. You follow it as a player and that whole congressional hearing. I’m just like, “Let’s focus on Roger, let’s focus on what he’s done.” You know, they’re trying to dig and dig and dig.

Do you have an opinion on his situation at all?

Naw, naw, naw. I don’t worry about that or the Mitchell Report, it has nothing to do with me. I just stay out of it. I just watch, listen and see what happens. I have no opinion on any of those situations.

That’s probably the safe way to go.

Yep. Exactly. The less you say, the better off you are.

Obviously. Jayson Stark actually said that the rivalry between you and the Mets has gotten so intense that you might have a brawl this year.

I don’t know about none of that. I said it would be tight, but I didn’t say nothing about no brawl. I don’t know who said that. That’s kind of interesting that somebody would bring that up…

Did you see the comment?

I didn’t see it. Where was it?

I believe he said it on the radio station 950.

Really? That we’re going to brawl with the Mets?

Well, what do you think about the Johan [Santana] signing?

I think it’s great. That’s a great acquisition for them. But we’ve gotten better too with the guys that we’ve brought in. Everybody’s got to realize that.

Have you ever charged the mound on anybody?

Me? No.

Would you ever charge the mound?

I guess if the situation was right I would.

What would be the situation?

It all depends on the situation in the game and how things are going … [screams, moves away from phone ... "Noooo!"]

Now, do you know when a fight is going to happen? Is it like hockey in that aspect? You’ll be talking to the guy at first base and then you find out that there’ll be punches thrown soon?

Naw, naw. It’s just the heat of the moment. I think it’s just the situation. I mean, if a guy’s throwing at your guy’s head, then you react to it.

Have you ever had the urge to go after a sportswriter? Like Brett Myers did last year when he went after the Inquirer’s Sam Carchidi?

[Hawaiian laughter] No, no — and I was the guy sitting right next to him [Myers] while it was happening, telling him to relax. No, I have no desire to do that. I was always told those are the people you want to stay away from, you want to be their best friend. You don’t want to do anything to piss them off.

What do you do the rest of the week?

Get ready to play, get some fun going around the clubhouse.

Have you ever done any other pranks besides the shaving cream pie in the face?

Naw, not yet. That’s all I plan to achieve right now.

Are you guys not allowed to go out? Is that why you’re playing miniature golf?

Naw, we can go out and have fun, but when spring training’s here you want to stay in, have fun, get along in the clubhouse with the guys, play some golf, have a good time, get some rest.

Do you have a curfew?

[Background: "It’s in the hole!"] Naw. I’d say I get to bed around 12:30 or 1. I don’t really sleep too much at night. [Background: "Yowwwwww!"]

Are there any curse words in Hawaiian?

I don’t know if there is. If there is, I don’t use them.

You’re a clean-cut guy, family guy …

Yep.

You’re playing for the kids …

[10 awkward seconds of silence ... background laughter ... Victorino: "Naw ... come on!"]

Hello? So what are you guys doing next week?

[20 seconds of silence ... Victorino: "Man ..."]

Okay, okay, what’s your schedule next week?

Sorry. Go ahead. What? Next week? Games start, man. What’s your schedule? You want to do this again next week? This time? 6:30 good?

Sure. That works.

Whatever man. Just gimme a heads-up beforehand.

Great then, we’ll set it up for …

All right, A.J. Cool. Later.

[Background laughter ... Victorino howls ... click]

This entry was posted on Friday, February 22nd, 2008 at 10:55 am and is filed under Philadelphia Phillies, Shane Victorino Spring Training Dispatch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Posted by A.J. Daulerio on 2/22/08 in Philadelphia Phillies, Shane Victorino Spring Training Dispatch 3 Comments »