No, not be-dazzle. Va-jazzle.

A few weeks ago, I was blissfully unaware of the word “vajazzle�. But then my lovely lifestyle editor Lauren McCutcheon — a girl who likes to play games with me by using acronyms like “LBD� because she knows that I’m so clueless that I have no idea what they mean (it’s “little black dress,� apparently) — came into my office and asked, “Would you want to interview a vajazzler?�

Because I have the disorder that makes it nearly impossible for me to say no, I accepted the assignment without an understanding of what she was talking about, sort of like the time when I, as a young intern, accepted the assignment to undergo and write about a high colonic, not realizing what precisely was involved in the process. Lauren explained to me, “Just think bedazzling but, you know, down there.�

So, I called local vajazzler-of-record, Kim Gider of Conshohocken’s Better Health Tanning and Nail Spa. Now, it should be pointed out that Gider is one of the region’s best when it comes to applying a layer of wax to your stubbly pubes and then ripping it off. In fact, she won a Best of Philly 2009 award for it. “I do Brazilians all day long,� says Gider, 42. “And then about six months ago I started doing the vajazzling after all these stars started doing it.�

“Oh, really? A lot of stars are into it?� I asked.

“Oh, yeah, everybody’s doing it,� she assured me.

So it turns out that “everybody� is Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose biggest film role of late has been Garfield, and who announced her vajazzled private parts on something called Lopez Tonight, telling the host, “It’s hot pink for you.� And then there is the other oft-cited vajazzling celebrity, Kathy Griffin, who did it not to be fashionable but as a joke as part of a pap smear awareness campaign and whose va-jay-jay is truly on my D-List (thanks so much for the image, Kathy).

If you haven’t figured this out yet, vajazzling is the application of colored crystals around the female genitals, along the bikini line, anywhere… down there. A medical adhesive is used to make sure they don’t fall off in case of, you know, pelvic contact. In each session, Gider says she uses 25 to 200 crystals to form all sorts of images, with a sunburst “up top on the bone aboveâ€� and firefly being the most popular. She’s also done a number of initials — as in your boyfriend’s initials — on the occasion of what Gider calls “a love night.” “It’s really pretty,â€� says Gider. “You’d think it’s weird, but it’s beautiful.â€�

“I think it’s absolutely bizarre,� says Lithe Method owner Lauren Boggi, whose gloriously unvajazzled naked female form is proudly displayed in the current issue of Philly Mag. “I don’t bedazzle my jeans, so I am certainly not going to bedazzle my vagina. It’s unnatural, and I can’t believe that women are doing this.�

Local fashionista and publicist Jamie Joffe, whom, it should be noted, does not represent anyone associated with the vajazzling industry, disagrees: “Around your cooch? Bling Bling? I think it’s awesome, completely fantastic.� Though she stops short of confessing to her own vajazzlement. “My husband and I,� explains Joffe, “we don’t like to play on a public course, if you know what I mean.� Meanwhile, Passyunk Ave boutique owner and our very own Street Style reporter Jimmy Contreras is on the fence. “I personally say that if it doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t make you bleed, then do it,� says Contreras. “Then again, I haven’t seen pictures.�

Well, Jimmy, let me tell you something. I have seen the pictures. Now believe me when I tell you that I find absolutely nothing wrong with the naked body. Male or female. But somebody has got to give me a big old “Amen!” when I say that this is one of the most decidedly unsexy things that a woman can do to her body.

But, hey, what do I know? Should you want to partake in this, er, trend of dubious distinction, you can make an appointment with Kim by calling 610-825-8261. Prices start at $15, not including the prerequisite waxing. betterhealthtanningandnailspa.com