How was your flight from California? Did you get profiled by the TSA?
Strangely enough, itâ€™s the opposite for me. I did a movie called Friday After Next, which did very well in the urban community, so I have a lot of black and Latino fans. And so whenever I go to LAX, thereâ€™s always a black or Latino TSA agent who will recognize me. As opposed to being profiled for the wrong reasons, I tend to get VIP treatment. [Puts on his best barrio accent] Are you Moly from Friday After Next? Yeah? Câ€™mon guys, let him through.
Did you get a chance yet to work on your Jihad Jane material? Ugly blonde. Swedish cartoonist…
It writes itself, doesnâ€™t it? I was in the airport yesterday when I saw the headline, and I thought oh no… I was in Austin when the guy flew his plane into that building. And a while back I was in Denver landing when they arrested some guy involved with terrorism. Either Iâ€™m traveling too much, or maybe Iâ€™m involved with some plot myself.
Itâ€™s not going to take the FBI long to put the facts together.
Yeah, the problem with the FBI is that all the signs are there, but theyâ€™re just going to ignore it until after whatever my act is. Iâ€™m involved with something, Victor. Thatâ€™s all Iâ€™m saying.
I was disappointed when I went to see Lisa Lampanelli recently, simply because I felt like I saw her whole routine between cable and Youtube already. How do you combat that?
It used to be that it would take a comedian a year to work on material and put out an album that only the most diehard fans would buy. You could tour with that material, and it would be the first â€” or maybe just second â€” time that the people had heard it. But now with YouTube, the challenge is to write a lot more. And I always try to have some stuff that relates to that city at the top of my show. And topical stuff â€” I know for a fact that I wasnâ€™t talking about Jihad Jane a few weeks ago.
What will you do once the War On Terror is over?
Iâ€™ll lie and say Iâ€™m from the new enemy.
Which will be?
Iâ€™ve been lobbying for Venezuela, since I can pass for Venezuelan. Iâ€™m waiting for Chavez to say some more stuff. But Iâ€™ve been here for 32 years. I came when I was 6. A year after I arrived, the whole hostage thing happened. These issues have been around for a long time, and so I think they will be around a lot longer.
Are you on Ahmadinejadâ€™s radar?
One time I was in the Middle East, and this guy I knew said he was giving tours at some water park and that some relative of Ahmadinejadâ€™s was there â€” a nephew or something… â€śI told the man I was a friend of yours and showed him a picture of the two of us. He got a look on his face like I killed his mother.â€ť I donâ€™t know if his was kidding me or what. But they probably know of me, though Iâ€™m certainly not at the top of their list. Iâ€™m not that politically involved, though I have hosted some human rights events, joked about politics. Iâ€™m sure that if I showed up there, theyâ€™d give me a nice, long imprisonment.
For tickets to Mazâ€™s performances at Helium, go here.