Dear Monica, After reading your column on Fifty Shades of Grey, I wanted to ask you what the average woman can do to keep things hot and exciting in a marriage? —G.D., Wayne
Though E.L. James’s work is fiction, she and her husband tried many of the ideas presented in the book—so any woman can do them! Yes it is true, couples do get in a rut when it comes to sex. The work day was a drain, you have bills to pay, relatives to appease, friends who are feeling left out, a career to manage and a hubby who is equally as busy. All this, plus kids, dishes, laundry and car pools. At the end of the day romance can easily slide to the bottom of the to-do list once the honeymoon is over.
A fulfilling relationship can’t stay charged if you take your lover for granted and just go through the motions. Try some of these twists in order to keep your relationship romantically tuned and maintain the spark with your sweetheart.
Ban Grunge Wear: Lose the baggy shirts and replace with a baby-T at night when the two of you are laying low around the house. Get into a new habit of dressing sexy when you stay in. As easy as it is to amble around the house in sweats and leggings, it will make you feel better to dress sexier.This new you will definitely grab his attention.
Turn Up the Waterworks: Turn a daily hygiene regiment into a steamy act of love by slipping in the shower with him in the morning … Just make sure the doors are locked.
Ban Work Talk: Bringing home the negativity is sure to burn you both out. Keep work at work, and look at your time at home as an opportunity to heat things up—sex is a great stress reliever. Put the kids to bed, and make time for the two of you instead of watching TV and reading the Kindle.
Be Spontaneous, Flirty and Fun: Spontaneity goes a long way. Try leaving a quick naughty note in his briefcase or sending a flirty text or email during the day to let him know what you’d love to do to him after work. By the time he gets home he’ll be bursting at the seams!
Take Interest in His Interests: If he knows you’d rather leave the room when the game is on, surprise him and say through the last inning. He’ll appreciate the effort and next time you want to go to the theater, he will be more inclined to be by your side. Quid pro quo!
Make Bets: Whether you wager on the weather, if the Phillies are going to make post-season, or if the Sixers are going to the NBA Championship, cast some playful bets. The winner gets to pick the next date night and late night activities.
Wish List: Each of you should write down 10 fantasy scenarios (let your imagination run wild!). Place them somewhere for safe-keeping. When you feel like you need to raise the temperature in the bedroom, pull out a slip of paper for some instant inspiration.
Express Gratitude: Before you drift off, tell each other something you appreciate or love about the other person.
And if you happen to get into a lovers’ quarrel … bat your eyes and get on to the makeup sex.