It’s Official: Vince Fumo’s “House Arrest” Is Way Better than the Free, Honest Life You’ve Lived

It’s official: Vince Fumo will get to serve his “halfway house” time in his mansion, so that space in the halfway house can be reserved for, you know, the really criminally criminals. The Inquirer reports that “federal prisons officials confirmed Wednesday that Fumo would be permitted to serve out the last six months of his sentence in his home.”

Chris Burke, a spokesman for the U.S. Bureau of Prisons, said the federal prison system reserved space in halfway houses like Kintock for inmates with “prerelease needs” – a permanent place to sleep, a job to find.

In contrast, Fumo has six bedrooms to choose from in his mansion, valued at $2.6 million by the city. And his criminal defense lawyer, Dennis Cogan, has hired him – for a $10-an-hour gig answering phones and filing paperwork.

Remember, kids: Crime doesn’t pay. You don’t ever want to have to face the shame of returning to your six-room mansion someday.