What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Graduate From College

Debt, shock, your old bedroom at home.

Villanova University’s seniors graduated last weekend. By all accounts, it was a wonderful ceremony held on a glorious day. Students were celebrating the milestone with big hugs, fist bumps and high fives. A particularly joyous photo of the ceremony caught my eye and got me to wondering: What the hell are they so happy about? Clearly, they have no idea that their college years will never be duplicated for unencumbered freedom to search, learn, develop and make mistakes with minimum consequences. College is an environment that offers a buffer, a safe haven for growth without many of the burdens of being a working adult—financial obligations, responsibilities of family and the routine of full-time work.

Octomom: How Many Embryos Is Too Many Embryos?

There’s a reason Nadya Suleman is itching for a fight in A.C.

Nadya Suleman, better known as Octomom, has gotten a two-week reprieve from the auction of her home. She now has a few extra days to look for housing for herself and her brood of 14 kids, all conceived through in vitro fertilization. She has no husband, no job, no money and no expectation of any in the near future. (She's looking for a challenger for a "celebrity" boxing match in Atlantic City.) Apparently, she had none of these normally expected attributes when she was implanted through IVF. The crazy nutcase doctor who pumped her full of embryos, Michael Kamrava, lost his license to practice medicine last July due to his overzealousness. In addition to Ms. Suleman’s case, he once implanted seven embryos into a 48-year-old woman and proceeded with IVF on a cancer patient. Where is the outrage at the fertility clinic physicians who practice this insanity? They claim they are only complying with the heartfelt request of patients. At least, that’s their story. I’m not buying it.

Tattoos Are Now So Mundane That Main Line Teens Want Them

The butterfly effect.

My college-aged daughter claims she has no tattoos. Just to make sure, I sneak into her room and, while she’s sleeping, peek at all the suspect areas. So far, no tats. Daughter says she reserves the right, however, to ink up someday when I can no longer threaten bodily harm. It’s art, she claims, a personal expression voiced visually and displayed intimately on one’s skin. Besides, she continues, it’s mainstream now; everyone has a tattoo and she doesn’t see anything wrong with it.

Republicans Lose the Cutest Religious Zealot in Presidential Race

Can Tim Tebow take Rick Santorum’s place?

Rick Santorum has dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination for president, and no one is very surprised by that. In fact, it’s pretty amazing that he got as far as he did with his myopic platform. Does anyone know what he thinks of besides abortion? Anyway, the field narrows. With the suspension of Santorum’s campaign, however, we lost one of the cutest candidates we’ve seen for a while. I know, slightly ferret-ish but still an attractive man. Mitt Romney, the presumptive candidate is a good-looking guy, too, but there’s a blankness there, no sparkle in the eye indicating maybe some fire in the belly.

Flo the Progressive Girl: Love Her or Want to Kill Her?

Either way, the ad execs win.

Flo the Progressive Girl. What comes to mind when I mention this media phenomenon? You hate her, right? Or maybe you love her. I checked the web, and there are literally dozens of websites dedicated to either stance although, at quick glance, there seem to be more haters than lovers. Then again, the haters are sometimes just so ticked off that they are more outspoken in their dislike. Words like nauseating, disgusting and stupid abound. She makes women look silly; she dresses like a freak, and her makeup is frightening—so say those who can’t stand her. Fans say she’s hot, weirdly sexy and a “babe.” They love her humor and her look.

Today’s College Students Could Use MIT’s Charm School

Get some manners.

MIT offers a one-day etiquette course called Charm School. It runs all day and offers instruction in things like first impressions, dressing for success, and business dining etiquette. The course has been offered for 19 years and was conceived as a way to round out otherwise nerdy students. Nerd polish, as it were. What a great idea, especially in these hard times when even a molecular biologist from MIT might have a hard time finding employment. A little polish might just be what it takes to get the job! I did a little research fully expecting to find other schools that offer a similar course, and I found none. Maybe similar instruction is available as a non-credit course but I couldn’t find it. Why not? These skills are important, and they are not being taught at home or in school.

Please Put Me in a Room for 15 Minutes With Main Line Teens

The shmacked kids at Lower Merion and Harriton need a clue.

Late last month, it was all over the news that YouTube was showing videos of students getting “shmacked.” Apparently, getting shmacked means drinking and doing drugs to the point that one is completely out of control. I suppose it’s a contraction of smashed and whacked, both things that any reasonable human being should aspire to achieve, ya think? The videos featured students from both Lower Merion and Harriton high schools. A website set up to extol the virtues of shmacking is selling t-shirts that include the colors and names of plenty of colleges and universities and, oh yea, two high schools. You guessed it: Lower Merion and Harriton. Let me tell you, we Main Liners couldn’t be any prouder. Look, my baby is on the Internet!

I Hate Angelina Jolie and Both of Her Legs

Who stands like that?

I hate Angelina Jolie. I can’t explain it, but I do. I mean, she’s pretty and all that but, one look at her, and I have a visceral desire to punch her right in those fat lips of hers. Watching the Oscars on Sunday night just provided more fodder for my hate-fest. Sticking that skinny-ass leg out of her dress at every possible opportunity was comical and pathetic. I know lots of men think she’s uber-gorgeous but, come on guys, please tell me that her shapeless, knobby-kneed stick leg frightened you. Would someone please give that girl a cheesesteak?

Hey, Can You Stop at CVS and Pick Up My Suicide Pills?

So-called "Death With Dignity" measures are murder, plain and simple.

While in Boston this past weekend, I became aware of a ballot initiative that will be presented in November concerning bill H3884. This bill, known as the “Death With Dignity" bill, concerns the legalization of physician-prescribed suicide. The concept of physician-prescribed suicide differs greatly from assisted suicide and, frankly, scares the hell out of me. The idea of suicide as medical treatment goes beyond slippery slope; the hill is downright slushy. The current direction of health care in this country includes an alarming shift in the definition of health care itself evidenced by this concept of death by scrip pad.