After seven long years, the wait is finally over. This Sunday, Netflix will release new episodes of the classic, legendary, groundbreaking Arrested Development—the show that was meta before meta became a thing. So for you, the fans—those who may have already binge-watched all existing 53 episodes or those who may just need a little refresher—here are just a few of my picks for the best episodes, quotes, and running gags the show's produced thus far. Here's hoping more genius awaits us.
18 Reasons Arrested Development Is the Best Show of All Time
From nevernude to one-armed men: A tribute to the most brilliant episodes, the funniest quotes and the running gags that you hope never end.
Confession: I’ve Worn Racy T-Shirts at the KOP Mall!
If a "Fu*k Cancer" hat bothers you, just ignore it.
Attention, Americans: From here on out, please keep any modest displays of rage, love, truth and/or solidarity within the confines of your own home. Those kinds of emotional outbursts can offend people, and that’s bad for our corporate masters’ businesses. Please vacate your First Amendment rights, utilize mandatory inoffensive language at all times, and keep your arms and legs completely inside the country until it comes to a complete and total collapse.
TV’s Favorite Female Veep Doesn’t Need “Happy Pills”
Will Veep writers ruin Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ character?
The Bucks Co. Bear and 4 Other Local Wild Animals of Note
In Philly, you might even see a wild turkey at Starbucks.
Hide your honey, your porridge and (in reality) your bird feeders and your garbage cans. There's a bear on the loose!
Over the past week, a black bear has been spotted in Lower Bucks County. The LBC, as I like to call it, is more urbanized than your usual bear habitat, meaning everyone is freaking out. The bear was spotted at a Bensalem soccer field, on a Bristol Township lawn, and even in Hulmeville, a town you've probably never even heard of. Things haven't been this exciting in the LBC since the Neshaminy Mall was built.
What does the Maxim Hot 100 and the race for city controller have in common? Pretty much nothing, save for the fact that both involve voting and, oddly enough, Philadelphia. Four lovely women with roots in the Delaware Valley made it to Maxim’s roundup of the most smokin’ babes around (and only two of them are ranked lower than Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend and the attorney general of California). Here are the locals who made the list and a few honorable mentions who deserve consideration, all of whom look way better in bikinis than either Brett Mandel or Alan Butkovitz.
My 20th wedding anniversary is June 5th. According to Emily Post, china is the suggested gift. Since my wife and I rarely entertain, we wouldn’t know what to do with china. Mostly, we eat Trader Joe’s frozen dinners, which makes us more like astronauts than hostesses.
Senator Sarah Palin? Get used to the notion; it could happen. Mark Begich, a Democrat, is currently the junior senator from the great state of Alaska. On the Alaskan endangered species list, a Democratic senator beats out the humpbacked whale and the short-tailed albatross. Alaskan Republicans will be tripping over themselves to get the nomination and run against Begich in 2014.
The Office Pulls Off a Shocker: An Incredible Last Episode
A fitting farewell for the Scranton gang.
Finales are hard. Seinfeld, Sopranos, Sex and the City, Sister Sister: all shows with infamous mediocre series finales. (Okay, I don't really know about that last one; presumably shows that didn't begin with "S" had bad finales, too.) A TV series is rarely meant to be a self-contained entity, at least in America. Even in this era of binge-watching shows on cable or the Internet, a TV show should continue for months and years (unless it's Do No Harm, I guess).
10 Things to Know Before Seeing Star Trek Into Darkness
A primer for both the nerds and the novices.
For the most part, I am excited to see new movies (save for those in the Twilight series or anything starring Julia Stiles). But the movie that I have anticipated the most this year is Star Trek into Darkness. Perhaps it’s because I grew up in a household where my dad and I watched The Next Generation every Monday night. (The best was when Captain Picard and the Enterprise had to fight the Borg or deal with Q. The holodeck episodes? Not so much.) Or perhaps it was due to J. J. Abrams’ killer 2009 reboot that was perfectly cast and perfectly fun. Either way, I’m pleased to say that Darkness lived up to my anticipation.
Living Together Before Marriage: A Good Idea?
Why some cohabitating couples thrive while others crash and burn.
Living together is a steadily growing trend that is now the norm for 60 percent of today’s unmarried couples. Cohabitation no longer carries the stigma that it did in years past: In the 1960s, only 10 percent of couples reported living together pre-marriage. Research shows that one out of four women will live with a man by age 20 and three out of four women will live with a man by age 30. As far as divorce rates go, couples who live together but are committed in terms of an engagement and future wedding date have a higher chance of staying married as opposed to those who live together uncommitted prior to getting married.
So how does one decide whether to take this step or not with their significant other?
Beyonce Reveals the Power of the Fake Boob
She doesn’t need faux nipples, but she worked them anyway.
Oh Beyonce, you’ve put me in a bad position this time. I defended you when you took over multiple rooms while giving birth to Blue Ivy; I defended the lip-synching at the Inauguration, but the faux nipples … faux nipples, B? I don’t believe I’ve even heard the phrase before, “faux nipples,” let alone had to type them, or think about whether they are right or wrong.
My eyes lit up when I read that NBC was replacing Jimmy Fallon with Seth Meyers on the Late Night show. I only started watching Saturday Night Live in earnest (i.e., not only on YouTube) this past year, but immediately got hooked on "Weekend Update" and Seth's twinkle-eyed delivery.
From Frank Rizzo’s City Hall Statue to the Clothespin: Philly’s Best and Worst Public Art
Grading some of the city’s sights.
The other day a friend and I were walking around the city, taking in all the sights the city has to offer. Okay, okay, actually we were walking around to kill a few hours before Game of Thrones. But as we walked through Washington Square West to Society Hill, what started as a time-waster actually did become a trip taking in Philadelphia's sights.
We saw some kangaroos. They're made of metal, and they're inbetween Spruce and Cypress and 4th and 5th. Despite living downtown for years now, I had never seen them before. We must have passed by a dozen pieces of public art on our walk. Some were familiar, some weren't; what's cool about the amount of public art in Center City is there is so much you can almost always find new pieces—even something as large as two metal kangaroos—almost anytime you step outside downtown.
And, so, I present to you ratings of 10 pieces of Center City's public art.
Seth MacFarlane’s Racist, Sexist New Show, Dads
The Family Guy creator only has two moves. Neither of them are that funny.
When last seen, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane was stepping before the camera to turn the honored act of hosting the Oscars into a high-profile act of slut-shaming and ethnic jokes. Everybody got mad for a couple of days, everybody else pointed out that the Oscar telecast actually had pretty good ratings, and eventually the hubbub died down.
Are Christians Under Attack in America?
For a secular nation, America is actually pretty good to its faithful. So why all the fuss?
Fox News Radio host Todd Starnes is a man on a mission. For the past several years he's been leading a crusade to prove that Christianity in America is being undermined by a secular, anti-religious agenda at the behest of the libertine big-government of President Barack Obama and his heathen minions.
This week’s release of Star Trek Into Darkness has nerds everywhere sweating through their completely un-ironic Captain Kirk t-shirts. But what’s getting their tighty-whities in a twist is the film’s take on Spock as a Vulcan love machine, locking lips with his Starfleet girlfriend, Uhuru. No matter how much chemistry there is between actors Zachary Quinto and Zoe Saldana, one thing I do not want to see is a Spock sex scene (even if it reveals an erotic use for the Vulcan nerve pinch). In an effort to spare our eyeballs from similar horrors, here’s a list of other pop...
Nosy Neighbors Are a Dying Breed of Crime-Fighter
Why you should make friends with the people next door.
As details spilled out of Cleveland’s "House of Horrors," I asked the same question that you undoubtedly asked. How on earth could three young girls be held captive in a modest home in the middle of a crowded neighborhood for more than a decade without anyone knowing?
That’s when it hit me. We are slowly losing a crucial crime-fighting tool: nosy neighbors.
Because of accessibility and user-friendliness via cell phone, Twitter has become the social media platform of choice among young people, and those who would otherwise have difficulty accessing the Internet. That brings us to the lazy (and complicated) shorthand “Black Twitter,” a term used to describe a segment of Twitter users who are black and participate in black culture online—though it should be said (and it should be obvious) that not all black people use Twitter in the same way.
