WEDNESDAY
The day before Thanksgiving is traditionally a day to do one of three things: prep for the meal you’re hosting; travel; or party hardy (or is it hearty?). If you’re cooking and you’ve procrastinated like the good friend that just called me asking where to get a turkey at this late hour, God help you. If you’re traveling, take a Xanax. But if you have limited responsibilities, some suggestions for a party: Tim and Eric at the Troc is 100% sold out but WMMR’s Gobblaroo with Stephen Lynch at the Tower is not; relive misspent youth at Johnny Brenda’s with the It’s The Years 1986 & 1987 Dance Party with DJs Bo Bliz and Emynd and host Reef the Lost Cauze though if you were always more metal than Michael, you might appreciate the triumphant return of Sabbra Cadabra, which may or may not be “the world’s greatest Black Sabbath tribute band”. They’ve been around from a time before the idea of “tribute bands” really existed, and tonight they rock the North Star. But if all that sounds just a little too fast paced for a Wednesday, there’s always crooner Michael Buble in South Philly. But if you just want to drink your face off, join the gays for the Pink Pub Crawl.

THURSDAY
But if you party too hardy/hearty, you may miss the 8:30 a.m. kickoff of the 6ABC/Ikea Thanksgiving Day Parade down the Parkway. At this point, it’s looking like cold rain, which does not a good parade make, so perhaps think coffee and slippers instead of parkas and bleachers. You’ll get a better look at co-host Cecily Tynan that way, anyway. Special guests include Kobe-ex Brandy, Justin Guarini, and Miss America. Oh, and to ?uestlove, I send you a big old Philly $#%&! for bringing the Roots to the Macy’s Parade in New York. I mean, they’ve already got Kanye.

FRIDAY
Assuming you’re not one of those 4 a.m. Target crazies (and if you are, check out Carrie Denny’s Black Friday guide here), I suggest you sleep in and wake up just in time to head to the Yards Brewing Company Open House at noon. Once you’re sufficiently giddy, a screening of Monty Python and the Holy Grail is probably in order. If you didn’t get your paranoid rock fill at Roger Waters’ The Wall shows, Floyd tribute act The Machine does its annual Thanksgiving show at the Keswick, though if that seems iffy, The Hooters with Beru Revue (remember them?), local wunderkind Kurt Vile, or ‘XPN fave KT Tunstall should work. But whatever you do, don’t forget about the Christmas Light Show at Macy’s (nee Wanamaker’s), which debuts for the season.

SATURDAY
At this point, I’m thinking a trip to the movies or the theater is what you need. For the former, I’ll leave things to my colleague Aaron Mettey, who sets forth (and rates) your weekend cinematic options here. On the theater front, there is no shortage. Tickets are available for all of the following: Jersey Boys at the Forrest; the Media Theatre’s production of Annie with Wanda Sykes; Theatre Exile’s controversial That Pretty Pretty: or the rape play; and South Pacific at the Academy of Music. It may also be a good day to check out the Museum of Art for Alessi: Ethical and Radical or the Michelangelo Pistoletto exhibit. The youngins will enjoy Peanut Butter & Jams at World Cafe Live featuring KiDROCKERS, Santa’s official Main Line arrival or his appearance with Mrs. Claus at Franklin Square, or maybe a screening of The Adventures of Huck Finn in Bryn Mawr. Musically speaking, Ray Davies had to cancel his Kimmel show, but just down the street at Chris’ Jazz Cafe, Miles Davis/Mongo Santamaria/McCoy Tyner alum Sonny Fortune does his saxophone thing. Other options include the Sugartown all-gal benefit for Philabundance and Free Energy with Foxy Shazam at the TLA.

SUNDAY
Yes, of course you should regroup, do laundry, prepare for the week ahead, but I’m advocating Eagles v. Bears, the resurgence of Bilal, or – for something completely different – the blowing of the world’s largest glass ornament at Wheaton Arts.

Happy Thanksgiving!